2004-08-16 - 10:35 a.m.
RISING FROM THE ASHES OF OCEAN CITY, N.J.
Like that rash on your whoozits you just can�t shake, Pencopal is back. After lying on the beach for a week straight, my caramel cappuccino mounds of delight are more like mocha mounds. Sexy. Speaking of (not so) straight, I tried to write a song about the New Gay American. Anyone like heroic couplets, a la Alexander Pope? Good for you, highbrow fuck, but this is more like a limerick.
�McGreevey the Gay Governor�
Oh Jim McGreevey,
Cheshire grin so skeevy,
You came out
With a shout
You should�ve stuck a sock in that Israeli�s mouth
�cause now he�s talking,
your wife�s balking,
and your political supporters are all walking.
His blow jobs must�ve been great
For you to alter your fate
And expose yourself as a �mo
and your sexual orientation to show
There�s nothing wrong with getting blown on the side
But make sure the guy blowing you is along for the ride.
So now he�s suing
And we�re all booing
Since you left us open to the Republicans
And everyone who�s not rich is going to get fucked again
That was as far as I got. Frankly, it isn�t very far. All humor aside, it would�ve been much cooler if he�d outed himself earlier, like after he became governor. It�d could�ve been all, thanks for making me your governor, booya: I�m gay, carry on now. Instead, it's all scandalous and shit, when it didn't have to be.
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