2004-02-11 - 2:51 p.m.
Hah! Bullshit never lasts for long. Today, two shitty writers got dumped from their publisher. Check out http://www.nyobserver.com/pages/frontpage4.asp.
Imagine how hard it would be for Natalie Merchant to catch the interest of a label whose main artist was Britney Spears (or any other toothpick blonde with high tits, a tiny waist, and no depth to speak of). Sucks, right? Welcome to my world. For the past year I�ve been trying to find an agent for my book, Ascending Ariya. It follows a woman, in her early 20s, along her path to a personal and spiritual awakening. I have at least 30 rejection letters, some of them with personal notes, saying, �Thanks, it�s not for me, but I�m sure you�ll find an agent soon; keep trying.� Either I�m a shitty writer who one day will find out I would�ve made it if I�d only signed on to that hash-brownie business, or I�m Natalie Merchant in a Britney Spears world. Who cares about spirituality and self-awareness when you can read that stupid fucking vapid fucking insipid book The Nanny Diaries? Before this week, I thought no one did.
But now, I�m not so sure.
Any writer who read that awful book probably did so out of curiosity over the hype, rather than a need to fill his or her mind with the musings of those two moronic authors. When they landed that $3 million deal to write another stupid book I wouldn�t even wipe my ass with, it seemed as if I�d have to sit this one out. I figured I�d wait until the publishing tide turned and big publishers were ready to give the same amount of attention to meaningful books as they do to the shallow ones (which are quick to sell). I�d have to wait until the world was talking about books by Monica Ali and Jhumpa Lahiri, because at that point, all anyone seemed to care about was those two Nanny assholes or any other chick-lit book related to finding a man, fucking like a man, or buying fabulous shoes as a substitute for one.
It seems that time has arrived. Or at least it's on its way. Random House�s rejection of the second offering from these two idiots gives me hope. Look out agents, my query letter�s coming your way. Hopefully, this time you're ready.
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