TAKE ME TO HAPPY PLACE The Internet is a bad place today. Perhaps it’s because I started my morning with this. While I believe the asshole who writes this is acerbically funny, I think I jinxed myself with the early-morning negativity. Most of the shit I’ve read today fucking blows. Eew. Why is everyone hating on the Counting Crows? Please, you’ve know you either shook your ass to “Mr. Jones,” or shed a tear listening to “Anna Begins” back when you were in college and in touch with your feelings. Fuck off, haters. Yuck. I can’t stand it when cutesy white people get all tongue-in-cheek about racism. Unless you’re a comedian (and working at Comedy Central doesn't make you one), it’s not fucking funny. This same girl wrote “Dude, where’s my curry” in a post about Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. How annoying. You’ve been de-Kinja’d. Go fuck yourself. This is just plain old disturbing. It’s like a transcript of this woman’s therapy session. While I think confessional columnists are interesting and funny, at 10 this morning I really didn’t need to read about this woman cutting herself to dull the pain. I liked this (scroll down), but then I felt like my "make all of Bush’s answers lyrics from Eric Clapton’s ‘Cocaine’ song" idea wasn’t as funny as I originally thought it was.
The Pencopal Project jury is still out on this guy. I can't decide whether he's a cocksucker or a muckraker. Or both. So I’ve had enough. For the rest of the day, Internet, you're dead to me.