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2004-09-17 - 2:21 p.m.


Like you didnít see this coming.


Iím hungry. Fucking Fuddrucker hungry. But Iíve instituted my old skool two-meals-a-day plan for the next month. Too bad Iím too smart to take up smoking again, I could knock that bitch down to one meal a day. I know Iíve said things before about people who need to eat. You may be thinking, Pencopalís a hypocrite. Fucking A right I am, I need to look thinner and hotter in 30 days, motherfucker, and I donít care if I have to subsist on Romaine to get there. Homecoming is a month away and Iíve got a beer gut to lose. Okay, maybe not a beer gut, thatís harsh, but there are four pounds that have magically appeared on the scale, and four pounds is no laughing matter when you donít have that much height to play with. I can only attribute the appearance of the pounds to the mass quantities of Smirnoff Twisted Green Apple I drank this summer. Felt like we were going through two cases of that shit a month. And now all that ďfunĒ has settled itself around my midriff. Or maybe I just have body dysmorphic disorder. Iíll have to ask my shrink.

Does anyone know how I can lose four pounds without losing my luscious breasts? Concomitant with the slight weight gain is a set of mammary glands with which I am completely in love. Many of my shirts are cleavage bearing now, not so others can view the cappuccino mounds of delight, but so I can. If there are any typos in this post itís because Iím alternating between looking at the screen and staring at my tits.


Anthony Hamilton and Angie Stone brought the funk last night. The bass was so crazy my heart was vibrating along with it. The last neo-soul show I went to was Erykah Badu, but these two definitely held their own against that standard. In terms of outfits, Hamilton was quite dapper and Stone was very pink and fringy, which pleased me. Rock that shit: I like to see nice outfits on stage, none of this cum-stained jeans and ripped t-shirt nonsense. I gave you my $35, so wash your ass and put on something nice.

Anyway, these two artists both have been in the business for a long time, so itís nice to see them getting the recognition they deserve. The three-hour show was a perfect way to spend an evening.


Tonight weíre going to see this. Hot. And tomorrow this. At some point I have to read a bunch of this. And the next three days will involve LOTS of this. Remember being a kid and smooshing up a blue Flavorice? Imagine that being melted down into a bottle with some alcohol in it. Flava-flaaaaaaaaaaav!

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