THE PENCOPAL PROJECT
2004-09-08 - 2:53 p.m.
POLITICS: THE ANTI-PARTY
The end of the summer found us catching up with some of The Honey’s friends this weekend for a few drinks. I’d seen the carnage over in Russia earlier that day, and brought it up. Not that it’s a great topic for a party, but I just I couldn’t get it off of my mind and wondered if anyone else was having the same problem. We talked about it for a while, but unbeknownst to me, one of The Honey’s friends was a fan of this book. The conversation took an ugly turn when, not realizing I wasn’t in the presence of like-minded people, I made a comment about the Republicans using the memory of those who died in 9/11 to try to gain votes. This was a mistake of monstrous proportions. What began as a calm discussion about world events ended up a heated argument between me and someone who’d been brainwashed by these guys. Talk of the convention inevitably led someone else to bring up the separation between church and state. Which led to gay marriage. And it ended there because it was either walk away from the conversation, or find out how my 115 pounds would fare against his 200. I can count only a few other occasions in my life where I’ve honestly wanted to hurt someone badly. This guy crossed the line between political discussion and spewing hate. We started debating whether or not a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage was a violation of the separation between church and state. Everyone at the table had some good points, the fan of this asshole included. But then he took it too far.
“It’s like they want to shit all over this country’s religion,” he said.
“There’s only one now?” I replied, confused because not only was he proving his argument’s lack of separation of church and state, but also because he was Jewish yet he was talking like a Christian fundamentalist with this our religion shit.
“Put it this way,” he said. “Imagine if I went over to India, where the main religion is Hindu. And I went into their church and ate a big old hot dog, or broke one of their sacred rules.”
“Okay,” I said, satisfied that his argument was beginning in such an asinine way he’d box himself into a corner and we could be done with it.
“I mean, that’s what they’re doing isn’t it? They’re going into our churches with hot dogs.” He started laughing. “And they’re sticking their hot dogs up each other’s asses. Isn’t that what they do? Really, if they can get married, what stops me from marrying my dog?”
What a motherfucker. What a fucked up, close-minded individual. What an ignorant, hate-filled thing to say. Not to mention stupid, senseless, and the most retarded analogy I’d ever heard. Thank God the Beautiful Girl Who Loves Jamaican Ska stepped in and said we should drop it, or I would’ve told him his mother obviously fucked an animal already, and, he should look in the mirror to see the result.
So I learned my lesson. No talking about politics with assholes. Maybe it was high time I learned it, perhaps I’ve offended people in some way before, thinking that they share my views when they really don’t. I hope I’ve never been “that guy” in someone else’s eyes. But it’s one thing to have different opinions, and it’s another thing to ruin a lovely evening by spewing ignorant hate. I don’t often find myself sitting at the same table with bigots, and it caught me off guard, hurt my feelings, and left me shaken.