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THE PENCOPAL PROJECT

2004-08-20 - 2:06 p.m.

ALL ABOUT ANAL

Ah, just back from lunch, of which the best part was a martini. Nothing like a martini on an empty stomach in the middle of Pencopal’s workday. This lunch was a tad more low key than a discussion I had with two friends yesterday, where the topic on the table was anal. Two of my cohorts were either very acquainted with or getting closer to taking it up the ass. To that I say, bravo, bravissimo, unchartered territory for this bum, but if that’s how you get down, more power to you. And then I started to wonder, how many women let their men enter the exit? Two out of three people at my table either had full plunger or half poke. Is Pencopal a prude? Is ass fucking the new black? Am I denying The Honey his full due because I’m scared of poo? Sorry, that last line was the martini talking. The idea that boofing (that's what we called it when we were 12) was no longer taboo made me wonder, does The Honey want to get down like that? Perhaps I didn’t notice when ass fucking moved from the realm of the subversive to the norm. Maybe it's always been the norm, and Pencopal’s a fucking pilgrim. I shuddered at the thought.

So when The Honey came over last night, I handed him a drink. As he got comfortable I asked, “Do you want to fuck me in the ass?” He almost choked. “Um no, where the hell did that come from?”

“Well, some of my friends are into it, and I wondered if you were, too,” I told him.

“I know you’re not into it, so I’d never ask you to do that.”

“A-HA! You do want to fuck me in the ass! You want to get me all comfortable and in love and shit, then you want to plow my ass. I saw you looking at it, with a glimmer in your eye,” I said.

He started laughing and made a few lecherous faces.

“That’s not funny! And listen, the only way you’re ever getting inside this ass is if I can stick a giant dildo up yours.”

For some reason, that wiped the smile right off his face.

“Not bloody likely,” he said, scooting away from me.

Case closed.

 

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