2004-07-26 - 12:48 p.m.
DANGER: OLD FUCK BUDDIES WILL COME BACK TO HAUNT YOU
Last night I had a Samantha moment. Why am I so stuck on SATC now that it�s over? Eff you, DVDs.
Taking a half hour break from writing my paper, I found myself in a bar. Because, you know, taking a break for me always means drinking. Not cool. No wonder every time I talk to my Dad and I don�t sound perfectly composed he asks, �When�s the last time you saw your therapist?� As if sounding a little unhinged means I�m avoiding my analyst. I mean, he�s right, I haven�t seen her in a month, but what does that have to do with this odd giggle I�ve acquired and the fact that this lingering cough I have sounds oddly like the barking of a dog?
I digress. Back to my Samantha moment. So I�m regretting my decision to meet my roommate at the whitest white people bar I�ve ever stepped foot in. The fact that rockabilly music is the music du jour at this place should�ve been an indicator that there�d be a complete brown out, but I really needed to get out of the fucking house. I�m sitting at the bar with my roommate and her boyfriend, and experiencing one of those moments where I realize I've left my social skills back at home. I�ve been so caught up in trying to write about Antony and Cleopatra that I can�t think of anything to say that�s not related to the task before me. Until I see him. There he is a few feet away, half mistake/half blessing. What the hell is he doing in Philadelphia, I thought that mofo lived in West New York. Same olive skin, same touseled hair, same sexy smirk, could it be The Colombian? A closer look indicated that it wasn�t him. But the embarrassment-fueled flush that rose to my face and my accelerated heart beat made me blurt out to my roommate and her boyfriend: �Wow, for a second there, that guy looked like this Colombian I used to fuck.�
Who says that? Pencopal, that�s who. She laughs, but he looks at me kind of oddly. I feel the need to redeem myself so I tell them, �You know, I was a freshman, he was a senior, he wanted to have sex with no strings attached. I was young and stupid and I thought he was hot; it seemed like the only way I�d ever have him, so we became fuck buddies.� I thought, they can relate to this, we�ve all slept with people for reasons less than love at one time or another. It�s nothing to be proud of, but it�s kind of funny, yet mortifying, when it comes back to haunt you. He averts his eyes and she leans over and says, �I used to mess with a Honduran once. I didn�t sleep with him, but it was pretty hot.�
See, there is some good in my roommate, though we don�t always see eye to eye. A real friend, upon being faced with your former sluttiness, shares with you a time when she was once slutty. I decide not to tell them that while he was definitely an asshole and a shithead, he did give me my first orgasm. Hench, the half mistake/half blessing title.
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