2004-07-20 - 10:09 a.m.
WHAT ARE YOUR BOOBS WORTH?
Lindsay Lohan is worth $7.5 million per picture. Normally, I don't give a shit about this kid, but with all of the recent press her breasts have received, I immediately thought, oh, $3.75 million per breast. Bah dum dum.
THE PURPLE ONE
On Sunday evening, AgentCrunked and I saw Prince at the Continental Airlines Arena. As I couldn�t locate the perfect purple boa, I decided not to wear purple, as the ticket instructed. Thank God because two out of three people wore different shades of purple, so I was glad to be part of that 1/3 who said fuck it. AgentCrunked was dressed as a communist. Seriously. It was hot, yet odd. I kept expecting him to start marching and clicking his heels and shit.
I knew the opening band was Morris Day and the Time, but it was nice to see the audience�s surprised reaction. Unfortunately, the only songs I knew were "Jungle Love" and "777-9311." AgentCrunked leaned over and asked, �What�s that guy supposed to be doing?� It took me a moment to figure it out, because the guy had drumsticks in his hand, but he wasn�t the drummer. Then I remembered, he�s the hype guy, the one who dances around and pumps up the crowd, telling us all to say Morris� name. Bands don�t have that guy anymore. Maybe they should bring that guy back. He�s kind of funny, and allows the lead singer to stay in character.
Prince was a joy to see. Out of my things to do before I die list, seeing Prince was pretty far up there. He played a good mix of songs from Musicology, but mostly he focused on the old songs that everyone wanted to hear. His energy was almost palpable, and during a few times I could've sworn he actually touched me. He played everything from Purple Rain except "Computer Blue" and "Darling Nikki." He played "Little Red Corvette" on a stool with an acoustic guitar, bathed in red light, wearing a red polka dot shirt and red pants. From "Controversy" to "Sweet Thing," Prince reeked of sex, filling the stadium with it. Maceo Parker, from James Brown�s band, played the sax. Shit was hot. The couple below us started making out, and AgentCrunked started scheming about getting into the cute Australian guy�s pants.
For the encore, he came up from inside the stage. Fog caressed the stage, and he came out from a curtain beaded with pearls, singing �The Beautiful Ones.� As he played with the fog and cavorted on stage, I accidentally said out loud, �That is so. Fucking. Hot.� The girl sitting in front of me turned around and was like, right on.
He covered Led Zep�s "Whole Lotta Love." When I first heard the opening strains of that song I thought worlds had collided and the four horsemen were on their way. He played the fuck out of that song, and it was great to see him perform a cover that showcased his insane guitar playing ability. It�s so easy to get caught up in his pop music and forget that he�s an amazing guitar player. He reminded everyone of that fact with the last song, "Purple Rain." He used that crazy purple symbol guitar to have his way with the audience one last time, before stepping off the stage.
The Gods were with me, because when we got in the car, there was a Prince t-shirt on the ground in front of the door. On the way home, I felt like I could've died happy. I'd need a special language that speaks right to your soul to truly express the awesomeness of this concert.
Next up: Sarah McLachlan. Same venue, three weeks from now.
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