2004-07-02 - 11:33 a.m.
MISCELLANY FOR YOUR MOJO
* I got an A in Discovery of Adulthood in British and American Lit. The professor�s comments on my final essay read like an orgasm. Alongside each paragraph he wrote Yes! Excellent! Yes! Definitely! Yes! I agree! Yes! Yes! I think he liked it.
* As my graduate school GPA is 3.85, I�ve sufficiently erased the hungover, marijuana-laced years that were my undergrad experience.
* Yesterday I saw a bleach blonde trailer park trash woman with an inch of brown roots driving a white 1985 Cutlass Supreme (complete with a Baby on Board bumper sticker) bouncing to "You can do it put your back into it." I'll never see again. I'm writing this on a Braille keyboard.
* I have become an asshole. Somewhere in my quest to attain a modicum of self-esteem, I shot right past that mark and landed on self-absorbed judgmental snob who�s mean to janitors and ugly dirty people. Maybe I should meditate or something.
* This fourth of July weekend, I�ll be competing with a power washer for my boyfriend�s attention. Who knew cleaning was so much fun? I didn�t, until my boyfriend excitedly told me he�d �cleaned his calipers right down to the metal!� and went on to powerwash his car, the recycling bins (which are encrusted with layers of Guinness we never thought would come off), and the wheels of every car in the driveway. He's a powerwashing fool. Hopefully, I won�t have to get naked with the power washer around my neck to get laid this weekend.
* Last night I had a double peach margarita and stumbled down to Penn�s Landing Pier for the free Lit concert. Don�t laugh. You know you like that song, �You make me, you make me come, you make me completely miserable.� Or maybe you don�t. Being surrounded by 17-year-olds makes their mentality contagious, so by the end of the night we were in mosh pit, banging into people and trying to stay on our feet. I almost lost a shoe, and my roommate started yelling at The Man for kicking kids out of the show. How very nostalgic and 1998 it all was.
* Tomorrow AgentCrunked and Pencopal take on Princeton. We�re invading the town at 1100 hours. Preps beware. First stop: PJ�s Pancake House. He�ll get chocolate chip and I�ll get pecan. Next we�ll go in all the stores and get the patrons� snotty knickers in a bunch. Then it�s on to Princeton Record Exchange to peruse their vinyl selection (though we have no record players) and raid the under $5 racks. Sweet.
* Have an awesome fourth. Drink a lot, it�s your job. Everybody�s doing it. And it�s the only way to have any fun these days. Spoken like a true alcoholic.
Sincerely,
Pencopal�genius, bitch, judge, jury, lover, mosher, terrorizer, alcoholic extraordinaire
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