2004-06-24 - 3:04 p.m.
Dear Ms. Pencopal,
I am IT sweatshop working and student. From Bombay am disciple of your work. Please visit and critique my blog.
Thank you!
Dear Pepito,
I have been reading it. I'm torn between thinking you're a sick fuck who must be stopped and finding your blog to be a guilty pleasure. Most of the things you say are terrible, but they are things many people would never admit to thinking, which makes it interesting.
By the way, I, too, have a chin dot.
:)
Pencopal
In the coming weeks, Pepito wrote the following:
I had a dream last night about this one dame whose diary I like to read. No, it wasn't sexual and don't ask me how I know what she looks like. I think it has something to do with one of her recent entries. I'm really frightened of her now, I guess reading it was sort of traumatizing for reasons I may disclose later. In the dream, she and her boyfriend came to stay with me for a couple days. Things were cool but then towards the ending of her stay something displeased her and she made a comment to me that I can't for the life of me remember what it exactly entailed. I do however remember the absolute terror I felt because of the comment and the look in her eye when she said it.
Dear Pepito,
Thanks for the shout out today. It is only right that you are now scared of me. You should be. If we met, I would eat your lunch. Though I find you funny, I'd like to remind you that it's not nice to call people wetbacks, even if you are hispanic. Bad Pepito, bad. This message brought to you from your local branch of the Politically Correct Police.
Sincerely,
Pencopal
Dear Pencopal,
You're welcome for the shout out today. I could not agree more. It's not right to call people wetbacks and I don't. Wetbacks are obviously from another planet so they can't really be human now can they? Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to Kenneth Cole to buy me a 100% wetback made half woven linen half silk shirt this morning.
Sincerely,
Your little Pepito
Though scared that mentioning Pepito on her blog would be both an indictment of her taste and an encouragement to the recently escaped mental patient, Pencopal felt the need to return the favor:
It�s also narcissistic how I Google Pencopal three times a day to see if any of you blog fuckers are linking to me, which most of you are not. Though I did get a scary shout out from a bald entity called Pepito Smith. Thanks for the Gmail account, li�l �ito. I�d link to you, but your constant references to racial slurs, however tongue in cheek they may be, prevent me from truly endorsing you.
Dear Pencopal,
Aha thanks for the quasi-shout out. In even mentioning the name Pepito Smith, you are indeed filled with much more cahones than what was previously assumed. I now understand why we maintain a healthy number of hits with a less than healthy ratio of feedback; none will associate with us and the jaded views of our character which offers aslice of the East Los Angeles experience. As I enjoyed today's passage of The Pencopal Project, I found myself at a surprising moral crossroads; may I take the low road in asking what size penis do you take? I am curious because it is mentioned you are five foot zero.It has nothing to do with you being a caramel macchiato bundle of joy with a chin dot no less, although I will take the opportunity to mention that your boyfriend is indeed a lucky man. It has everything to do with the fact that I have only once in my life been with a woman under five foot six which I'm sure you have read about in my ramblings.Also I would request an interview for your publication so that I mayset the record straight on the intentions of mine.
Yours truly,
Marty Cone
Editor-in-Chief
The Insipid Filth of L.A's Least Hispanic Suburbanite
Dear Marty,
I�ll have to marinate on the interview idea. Frankly, you repulse me.
Sincerely,
A Perturbed Pencopal
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