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THE PENCOPAL PROJECT

2004-06-18 - 11:30 a.m.

Last night in class a girl asked whether narcissism was bad for the narcissist, or only those around him or her. When the professor asked her to elaborate, she said she felt that if the narcissist remained self-involved and self-concerned her entire life, it would never be a problem. Kind of like ignorance, which is bliss.

Hm, I thought, way to let a little bit of your psyche spill out of your mouth and into our ears. How about the fact that the narcissist will die alone, with no family to love her, no genuine friends to speak of, and no real participation in the human experience? That doesn�t sound like a problem to you?

In truth, though, we�re all a little narcissistic. The fact that I�m writing my thoughts and observations on this page is in itself a narcissistic act. Why should you give a damn about what I think�except for the fact that I am a 5�0� caramel macchiato bundle of joy whom you secretly want to sleep with. It�s also narcissistic how I Google Pencopal three times a day to see if any of you blog fuckers are linking to me, which most of you are not. Though I did get a scary shout out from a bald entity called Pepito Smith. Thanks for the Gmail account, li�l �ito. I�d link to you, but your constant references to racial slurs, however tongue in cheek they may be, prevent me from truly endorsing you.

Nevertheless, one day you hot fuck bloggers (or hot blogfuckers) will link to me and then everyone will know the sickness/enlightenment that is the mind of Pencopal. Until then, I�ll enjoy my 40 hits a day, two-thirds of which are probably me, reading my own shit and laughing like someone else wrote it.

Speaking of narcissism, I�ve been getting a lot of compliments lately. Mostly because I�m fabulous and everyone wants to be me, but also because a lot of good hearted people inhabit my world at the moment. Funny when that happens. The problem with compliments, however, is that they cause a mental overload. Let�s say my boss tells me she loves my outfit. I can�t turn around and say I love hers, because 1. I might not, and 2. it won�t seem genuine after she just complimented me. So I make a mental note to offer her a compliment the next time I like something she�s wearing or something she�s done well. But lets say you get 15 compliments a week, that�s 15 people you have to remember to compliment back, at random times. What if you forget? Then you�re a narcissistic fuck who takes in all the accolades and never returns them. And in the midst of forgetting, what if they compliment you again? Now you have 30 people/instances to remember, and the more you forget, or the more you force a compliment, the bigger an asshole you are. I�m talking George Bush proportions of assholeness, and that�s the biggest one this country has to offer. Perhaps the aforementioned scenario is why people have taken to downplaying the compliment you give them, thereby sabotaging said compliment and obliterating any reason to ever return it.

This message brought to you by Pencopal Think, a company dedicated to confused meandering thought that has no purpose other than to amuse the owner. For narcissism uncut, check out the 100 hottest celebrities list. These people have figured out how to bend forward and eat their own pussies or suck their own cocks.

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