2004-05-06 - 1:11 p.m.
�Friends� is ending tonight. Boo fucking hoo. Who cares? What are you doing sitting at home on a Thursday night anyway? You should be getting laid or getting drunk. Better yet, the aforementioned should be happening simultaneously. What is so great about that show? Two dummies, two high maintenance bitches, and two geeks. BFD. How come they never had any black people on that bitch until someone made a stink about it? Good riddance. Apparently, from the deposition on thesmokinggun.com, the writers are a bunch of assholes who talk about f-ing cheerleaders and jerking off all day. Oh, have long conversations about who wants to fuck the bag of bones (Cox) and who wants to fuck the bag of bones with hair (Aniston). Weak.
Now, the Highlander, that�s a good fucking show. How sweet that all of the seasons are coming out on DVD. Duncan MacLeod of the clan MacLeod will fuck you up, take your head, AND your quickening. All the while, Queen is singing �Who wants to live forever� in the background.
Sure, the writing�s cheesy, the acting�s pretty bad, and the special effects are shit, but it's good pure fun. Oh, the perils of being an immortal. Moving around, always carrying a sword, watching your mortal friends die, such a shame. And the pain and thunder and lightening that accompany the quickening when you take someone�s head. So powerful, yet with a touch of melancholy.
The Highlander TV series does beg a few questions:
What does the quickening feel like? Is it orgasmic, or does it feel like getting hit by lightening, thrashed with a cat o' nine tails?
Where do all the bodies go after MacLeod takes your head? How do you dispose of a body a week?
Immortals can�t have children, so do they fuck around, and if so, do they get STDs? Since their bodies cure themselves, do they get syphilis for five seconds, and whoosh, no more chancre? (such a great word, chancre)
How does MacLeod sit down with a sword strapped to his side?
In the summer time, does he get hot under that trench coat he wears to hide his sword?
MacLeod sure does get laid a lot. Does being an immortal automatically make you sexy, or increase your sex drive?
How does MacLeod keep his sword so sharp? You never see him polishing or sharpening it.
I thought immortals were all pretty badass. What happened to Richie?
These and a few existential questions come to mind while watching the Highlander. Geekish or not, it's so much better than Friends.
**Pastor-i, I know you�ve got jokes, but they�re bouncing right off me because you�re too busy wearing a dress while watching the OC.**
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