2004-04-29 - 11:00 a.m.
Pinky, are you pondering what I�m pondering?
Why, yes, Brain:
Did I get an A in Modernism and Postmodernism? Will I have any fun this summer, now that the Discovery of Adulthood in British and American Literature and Critical Writing for Success will permeate my every thought, my every Tuesday and Thursday night until the end of July?
Does that umbrella toting fool stand in the wings (sans umbrella, hopefully) while P. Diddy performs in �Raisin in the Sun�? Or perhaps the umbrella is open, bringing bad luck to the Diddy and causing all kinds of shitty reviews. That�s funny. Never realized Diddy rhymes with shitty. Let this be a lesson to him: money doesn�t buy everything, and it surely doesn�t buy talent. Some shit is God-given.
Tomorrow is Peaches day. What do you wear to a show where the first song will inevitably begin: �Suckin� on my titties like you wanted me, callin� me...� Definitely a boa. A hot pink boa. And an ironic t-shirt. Sike. I had a temporary psychotic break and considered buying a shirt from Yellow Rat Bastard last weekend�but one out of five people within a 10-block vicinity of the store either wore some sort of vintage style tee or the green one from Urban Outfitters that says �Gettin� lucky in Kentucky.� Thank God my meds kicked in so I didn�t become that girl.
How can I work �mangina� into my daily vocabulary? Did you hear the one about the pre-op trannie and the fake ass zodiac killer? No that�s not a joke, it�s a New York mag article. And the author uses great words like mangina. Could mangina be something that holds both male and female properties? Nah, that�s too easy. I�ll have to sleep on that one. If you have ideas about how you could use the word �mangina� in a meaningful sentence, please click the contact me link and, well, contact me.
Why didn�t the guy selling his ex-wife�s wedding dress on eBay get a chick to model it? Don�t get me wrong, it was nice that my early morning laugh came from a photo of a heavily tattooed guy wearing a wedding dress, but I just wondered if the idiot who bought the dress for $3,850 realizes that it�s probably all stretched out. And who buys a wedding dress on eBay, let alone one from a marriage that ended in divorce? This dress has bad vibes all over it. The seller writes: �This dress cost me $1200 that my drunken sot of an ex-father-in-law swore up and down he would pay for but didn�t so I got stuck with the bill. Luckily I only got stuck with his daughter for 5 years.� Now that�s hot.
Is that what you were pondering, Brain?
No Pinky, I was trying to figure out how to take over the motherfucking world.
Goddamn I miss the Animaniacs. Is that shit on DVD?
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